Amnon

My days were measured by the length of her hair.
At the nape of her neck, I noticed her.
At her shoulders, my own stood up straighter.
At the spot on her back where my finger would stop
had I traced chills down the length of her spine-
I broke into a sweat.

Inch by inch, I suffered. Inch by inch, I stared.
My medusa, she silenced me to stone
with a glance- me, a prince among men.
A statue of perpetual want among men.
(But I swear, when she said, Good morning,
brother, I became human again.)

Longer, longer, her dark red hair dug its way
into my eyes, her long dark red waves haunted
my nights. I bit my fist to stifle my dreams,
to stifle the fear that our brother Avshalom
would learn of my dreams. I bit hard on my fist
and bled red, dark red...

I could swear I loved her. I could swear that’s what
I whispered in her ear, that night. But she was crying
so loud. I don’t know why she was crying so loud.
I love you, I’d said. She didn’t care. I put my hand
over her mouth to stifle her screams. It was not
how I’d dreamed it would be. After,

she lay splayed across my bed, her long dark red
cries seeping into the night, her face blackened and blued
(when did that happen?) her hair- extinguished flames-
and I wondered, had I ever thought this gorgon lovely?
I yanked her by her snakes and threw her out.
Blinded my eyes to the light in hers that went out.

As she dragged herself away, trailing red, I stared
at the spot on her back where my fingers had touched
when I pulled her down into bed. I suffered as she walked,
towards Avshalom, no doubt, shuddered
at what he would do when he found out. And I knew.
My days were numbered by the length of her hair.


Amnon

My days were measured by the length of her hair.
At the nape of her neck, I noticed her.
At her shoulders, my own stood up straighter.
At the spot on her back where my finger would stop
had I traced chills down her spine- I broke into a sweat.

Inch by inch, I suffered. Inch by inch, I stared.
My medusa, she silenced me to stone with a glance-
me, a prince among men. A statue of perpetual want
among men. (But I swear, on the days when she said,
Good morning, brother, I became human again.)

Longer, longer, her dark red hair dug its way into
my eyes, her long dark red waves haunted my nights.
I bit my fist to stifle my dreams, to stifle my fears
that our brother Avshalom knew of my dreams.
I bit down hard on my fist and bled red, dark red...

I could swear I loved her. I could swear that’s what
I whispered in her ear, that night. But she was crying
so loud. I don’t know why she was crying so loud.
I put my hand over her mouth to stifle her screams.
It was not how I’d dreamed it would be.

After, she lay in bed, her long dark red cries
seeping into the night, hair splayed across my pillow
like extinguished flames- my medusa, hideous to behold.
I yanked her by her snakes and threw her out.
Blinded my eyes to the light in hers that went out.

As she dragged herself away, trailing red, I stared
at the spot on her back where my fingers had touched
when I pulled her down into bed. I suffered to think
what Avshalom would do when he found out. And I knew.
My days were numbered by the length of her hair.